


Natasha Is Worthy

by AvengersFicWriter



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Other, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Civil War (Marvel), What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 11:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5333099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvengersFicWriter/pseuds/AvengersFicWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers gather at the Avengers Tower for a night of talking, drinking, and another round of trying to pick up Mjolnir. This time, it's the ladies' turn to give it a try. Finally, Natasha gives in to the peer pressure of her colleagues. In an attempt to humor them, she reaches for the hammer and finds herself picking it up quite easily. According to Thor, no human has ever been able to lift Mjolnir. With the god-like power running through her veins, Natasha becomes a new version of herself, both impressing and scaring her teammates. As Tony, Bruce, and Helen actively search for a way to get Natasha back to normal, the Black Widow becomes addicted to the power Mjolnir gives her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Party

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic with multiple chapters! I originally planned this to be a one shot, but then I really wanted to flesh out this plot. I should also mention that this fic isn't really driven by ships, despite the fact that there is a poly ship in here. Well, without further ado, I hope you enjoy this series!

It was one hour after a party hosted by Tony Stark himself. It was also the first gathering of the extended Avengers team - the first time they were all hanging out together. The party was sort of a “congrats for making the team” event for Sam, Wanda, Rhodey, and Vision. But the after party (when all the regular people left) wasn’t exclusively for Avengers. Maria Hill, Sharon Carter, and Helen Cho were there too. Well, Maria invited the other two in order to make the event less of a “sausage party,” in her words.

Rhodey, Tony, Bruce, and Clint were hanging around the bar, while Wanda and Vision were having a quiet conversation near the stairs of Stark and Banner’s shared lab. Everyone else was by the couches. Steve and Sam were sitting on either side of Natasha, whose red hair had grown longer since the late spring. Sharon and Maria were attempting to perform a drunken rendition of the Honey Hot Rag dance from _Chicago_. They were failing greatly, but it was a sight to see.

At some point in the routine, the dancers are supposed to grab prop guns. Maria picked up a drumstick, and Sharon decided to go for Mjolnir, which was set in the middle of the coffee table. Forgetting that she could not lift it, Sharon stumbled into Maria. They both fell down, but they tried to brush it off.

Sharon blushed slightly and pulled herself up. “I totally meant to do that!”

“Sure you did.” Helen chuckled from her spot in an armchair.

“It was a valiant effort, though,” Thor was always amused when someone tried to lift the hammer.

Maria stood up and made a quick attempt for the hammer. She couldn’t lift it, of course, and masked her disappointment.

“Saw that!” Steve pointed at Maria. She stuck her tongue out at him in response.

“Ooh, we trying to life Mjo-Mjo again?” Clint’s voice chimed in. Soon enough, everyone gathered at the couches.

“Time for another round of ‘So You Think You Can Lift Myuhl-neer!’” Tony cracked his knuckles as Rhodey played the role of the Hype Man and massaged his shoulders. Tony made a move toward Mjolnir, but Steve threw a couch pillow at him.

“Not so fast,” he said. “Let’s give some new people a chance. Y’know, those of us who haven’t tried lifting it yet.” As he spoke, he glanced at Sam and Natasha.

When neither of them budged, Wanda slowly approached the hammer. She didn’t normally get involved in these silly team activities, but she figured it would be better to embarrass herself now than later.

She concentrated and bit her lip. The room was silent. At this point, the others had an idea of how powerful Wanda was. Some of them truly believed all of that power could allow her to lift the hammer.

Unfortunately for her, these beliefs were wrongs. When she tugged on Mjolnir with all her strength, it did not budge at all. Wanda sighed and tried to shrug it off, but she was obviously disappointed. However, a reassuring smile from Vision made her feel a little better.

Next up was Helen. She grabbed the handle with both hands and tugged, but Mjolnir remained still yet again. Bruce and Maria clapped after her attempt, and she gave a small bow. She then returned to her seat for Sam’s turn.

“Alright, lemme show you guys how it’s done,” Sam said with confidence, though he knew he wouldn’t be able to lift it anymore than Helen could. He looked back at Steve and Natasha for a bit of encouragement. Natasha nodded and Steve gave a double thumbs up. Sam reached for the hammer, and as soon as his fingertips touched the handle, he dropped his hand and backed away. “Welp, I tried.”

“Awh, what?” Tony watched Sam take his place beside Natasha. “You didn’t even try! What happened to _showing us how it’s done_?”

“I wasn’t feeling it, y’know? My arm is - it’s sore from all the flying.”

Tony rolled his eyes at the excuse. He then turned his attention to someone else. “Well, that only leaves one person.”

Natasha pretended to be oblivious and finished her drink. Steve and Sam were poking and nudging her.

“Get on up there, Nat,” Clint grinned. He offered a beer to Bruce, who sat beside him on another couch.

“The rest of us embarrassed ourselves,” Bruce added. “It’s only fair.”

“ _You_ embarrassed yourself, if I remember correctly.” Natasha’s reply would have been mean if she hadn’t been smiling. “I’ll say what I said last time: Knowing whether I’m… ‘worthy’ or whatever is not a question I need answered.”

“C’mon, just humor us!” Steve playfully nudged her forward.

The others began interjecting and encouraging Natasha to try. She managed to hold her own for a while until she met Thor’s gaze. He gestured to Mjolnir with this cocky smile on his face. It made her narrow her eyes a bit.

“Holy shit, fine!” Natasha shouted over the noise and pushed herself up. “If it’ll make you all shut up, I’ll lift the dumb thing.”

“It’s not dumb!” Thor whined at the same time Vision said, “Hey!”

Natasha shook her hands out. It was intimidating, she had to admit. Especially with her teammates all being silent around her. She didn’t notice how she held her breath when she leaned down and reached for Mjolnir. The handle was rested firmly in her grip. The question of her worthiness was definitely one she didn’t want answered. She didn’t know how Asgardians defined worthiness, but that did not matter. She surely didn’t feel worthy - not with everything she did and was forced to do in her past. The real salt in the wound would come from her failing to lift the hammer and confirming her doubts.

Natasha barely pulled her arm up when the unthinkable happened. Mjolnir was raised from the tabletop, not wavering at all. Natasha’s eyes went wide as they were fixated on the hammer. Sam held his arms out to his sides as if he was bracing for a fall. Tony nearly choked on his scotch and Wanda slapped her hands over her mouth. Thor sat as still as a statue. His jaw actually dropped when Natasha raised her arm even higher, still holding onto Mjolnir.

“Wh-what…” Natasha’s voice shook. She blinked a few times, then looked to Thor and Vision for an explanation. Neither of them said a word.

Suddenly, Natasha gasped and jumped back, like she was punched in the gut. With the hammer still in her grasp, she fell to her knees, and her body jolted and twitched violently. Steve and Sam rose instantly, but Thor stuck his hand out to stop them to make sure they did not get too close. Sparks of what appeared to be lightning emerged from Mjolnir and surged through Natasha’s body. She let out a short, painful shout. Her eyes rolled back, and she collapsed to the ground. The sparks stopped and she lied still.


	2. The Lab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha has yet to wake up. The others are understandably worried and confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Quality chapter summary right there, just excellent.)

“The hell was that?!” Steve’s voice echoed throughout the lab.

Natasha was lying in a medical bed with multiple wires connected to her body. One wire was monitoring her heartbeat, which was weak. Every so often, her fingers would twitch, or she would scrunch her eyebrows together. Other than that, she hadn’t woken up since she’d passed out almost an hour ago.

Bruce and Helen looked at a few charts while Tony was tapping and sliding holo-screens. Vision and Thor lurked by the doorway. Thor had grabbed Mjolnir from Natasha when she’d fainted. He was now inspecting it with a confused expression.

“I don’t understand…” He murmured to himself.

“What was that? Got something to share, huh?” Bruce handed a chart to Helen in exchange for some notes. Although he appeared calm and professional, he spoke with an agitated tone, as if Thor was to blame for what happened to Natasha.

“Anything that could explain what just happened?” Helen added in a calmer voice. She wasn’t as close to Natasha as the others, but she still cared for her wellbeing. Helen was always trying to befriend the agent, even when Natasha treated Helen as more of an acquaintance.

“No, I was just… I don’t understand.” Thor continued looking at Mjolnir, only so he wouldn’t have to face the glares and dirty looks from his teammates. “No mere mortal has ever been able to lift Mjolnir.”

“Yeah, well Nat isn’t some _mere mortal_ , alright?” Sam was pacing back and forth in front of Steve, his arms crossed. Steve was sitting in a rolling chair, bouncing his leg restlessly.

“She is still mortal,” Vision came to Thor’s defense. He couldn’t understand why their anger was directed at his friend. “Your feelings for her do not automatically factor into her ability to wield Mjolnir.”

“Hey, watch it!” Sam took a step in Vision’s direction. Steve grabbed Sam’s wrist to hold him back. Sam sighed and stood behind Steve’s chair.

“All I meant is that there are specific factors that are involved in carrying Mjolnir.” Vision glanced at Thor. “Right?”

Thor nodded, then slowly approached Natasha. Tony stepped in front of him, blocking his path. They were both ready to pick a fight, but before Tony could say anything, Thor spoke again. “Will she be okay?”

Tony turned to look back at Natasha. She was paler than usual, but her breathing had regulated itself. “She’ll be fine.” Steve sat forward and Sam rested a hand on his shoulder. They both looked like sad puppies, so Tony repeated himself. “She’ll be fine.”

“When will she wake up?” Sam asked.

The three scientists looked at one another for an answer. Finally, Bruce spoke for all of them. “We’re not sure. We, uh...we haven’t seen anything like this. It’s… this is way out of our fields.”

Steve stood up and walked to the medical bed. Sam followed behind him. They were once again on either side of Natasha. Sam brushed stray locks of hair away from her beautiful face, then gently kissed her cheek. Steve bent down and kissed her other cheek. The others watched the scene unfold. Not even Tony interjected with something to ruin the moment. Everyone was well aware of their relationship by that point.

Helen awkwardly cleared her throat. “I think what she needs right now is a lot of rest. We’ll continue to monitor her breathing and brain activity to make sure everything stays, um...normal. The rest of you should get some sleep.” The “rest” she was referring to were Vision, Thor, Steve and Sam.

Vision simply nodded and stepped out of the room. It took a bit more effort to get Steve and Sam to leave. Helen reminded them that they could visit Natasha first thing in the morning. They finally walked to the exit, leaning on each other for support.

Finally, there was Thor. He kept looking from Mjolnir to Natasha, trying to piece together what had caused her to hold Mjolnir like she did. That’s not to say that he did not care about Natasha’s condition. Of course he was concerned about his teammate. If the ability to wield Mjolnir would cost her her life, he needed to know about it.

“Go to bed, big guy,” Tony went back to scanning holo-screens. “Seriously. If all you’re gonna do is stand there and take up space, you might as well do it somewhere else.”

“Stark!” Helen threw a pen at Tony. Bruce just shrugged - he agreed with Tony, but didn’t want to say anything. It’s not easy to kick a god out of your workspace.

Thor set Mjolnir down on an empty desk. He walked over to Natasha and just watched her for a moment. He encased his rough hands around her smaller, softer hand. “I am sorry, Natasha,” he whispered to her. “I promise, we will help you.”

After a few more minutes, Thor finally left the lab. None of them noticed that he left Mjolnir behind until it was too late. They couldn’t exactly pick it up and give it back to him. Even if they could, they all saw what had happened to Natasha. They decided the risk wasn’t worth it and went back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's a short chapter!  
> Also, updates will be coming soon!


	3. The Uniform

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha gets an update to her current uniform. If she is going to wield Mjolnir, why not dress the part?

Tony was slumped over in the chair by the medical bed. Bruce and Helen had left the lab not too long ago upon Tony’s request. He offered to keep an eye on Natasha, then immediately fell asleep. He was a fairly light sleeper, though.

Tony was dreaming about an abandoned ship stuck in the middle of the ocean when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He jolted and sat up. What he saw almost convinced him that he was still asleep. Natasha was standing up straight, right in front of him. Mjolnir was in her tight grasp. She appeared to be smiling, though it was hard to tell, due to the dimness in the lab.

“Natasha?” Tony rubbed his eyes. “What are you- When did you get up? What time is it?” He blinked twice and yawned. “Why do you have Myuhl-neer?”

Natasha didn’t answer any of his questions. Instead, she put her free hand on her hip. “I need you to do something for me.” Her voice had a more raspy tone than usual.

“Like right now? You should be back in bed.”

“I’m fine, obviously.”

“Get back in bed, Natasha,” Tony was about to stand up when Natasha pressed Mjolnir against his sternum. He winced and reluctantly leaned back in his chair.

“I said I’m fine. Will you help me or not?”

Tony glanced at the monitors and screens beside the bed. He picked up one of the holo-screens and checked its history. It showed Natasha’s stats at steady levels, but he wasn’t convinced. “What do you want?”

“I need a new uniform,” Natasha removed the hammer from his chest, but stepped forward, in case he tried to flee.

“That’s what this is all about?” He rubbed his eyes. “Listen, Nat, I make weapons. Not cosplay.”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and lifted him from his seat. Tony’s eyes went wide as he felt his feet leave the ground. He knew she was strong, but he knew for a fact she wasn’t _that_ strong. Even Natasha seemed initially surprised at her new strength.

Tony held his hands up. “Alright! Okay, I’ll see what I can do! Just… please don’t throw me through a wall or anything with your she-hulk power.”

“This isn’t Hulk power, I’ll tell you that much…” she muttered to herself. She kept him up in the air and took a little stroll through the lab, until she reached a desk in the corner. There, she finally put Tony down in another chair.

“This isn’t my desk,” he protested.

“Not my problem,” she replied, pacing back and forth while lightly swinging Mjolnir.

“Why do you need a new uniform anyway? What’s wrong with your old one?” Tony looked through cubbies beside the desk and pulled out a clean sheet of blueprints.

“If I’m gonna wield this thing, I wanna look the part,” she explained.

“And you couldn’t ask Thor for help? Get his Asgardian input and whatnot.” he found some dull pencils, then stood up to sharpen them. As he rose from his seat, he saw that Natasha stopped moving. She was staring down at the hammer’s head.

“I don’t think he’d want to see me just yet,” her voice was quiet, almost unsure of her own words. As if she could sense him watching her, Natasha stood up straight and squared her shoulders. “Besides, I want to make an entrance with an updated uniform. I thought you could help with that.”

Tony never did sharpen the pencil he was holding. Instead, he found a pen and decided to use that. “Well, you came to the right guy, milady.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He continued as if she did not say anything. “I know a thing or two about making an entrance.”

***********

“Nothing weird came up on the monitors or anything?” Steve whispered to Helen across the kitchen table.

Helen shook her head and stared down at her cup of coffee. “We ran multiple tests, and none of them showed anything abnormal.”

Steve sighed and set down his fork. Thor patted his shoulder in an attempt to make his friend feel better. The last they had seen of Natasha was when she was lying in that bed, unconscious. Steve trusted Tony, Helen, and Bruce, but he couldn’t help but think that something bigger was going on.

Suddenly, Tony rushed in the room, a suspicious grin on his face. “Hey! Anyone start the coffee yet?” He walked over to the coffee pot, where Bruce and Sam put a pause in their quiet conversation.

Everyone else fell silent and watched Tony grab a mug, as if everything was fine. Bruce cleared his throat and decided to be the one to break the silence. “How was she last night?”

“Fine,” Tony replied quickly. He reached to grab the coffee pot when Sam stepped in front of it, blocking the path.

“Really. Nothing we should know about?” Sam leaned against the counter, taking a sip from his own mug.

“I feel like I’m on trial here…” Tony mumbled, then turned to the rest of the group. “Alright, okay. Natasha got out of bed and she asked me-”

“Wait, what?” Steve leaned forward in his seat. “That should’ve been the first thing you said when you came in here!”

“Let me finish! She asked me for a new uniform, so I helped her. And now…” Tony sucked in a breath and looked towards the doorway. “I’m supposed to announce her arrival or something.”

“I never said you had to do that last part,” Natasha’s voice could be heard from the hallway.

Footsteps were approaching the kitchen. Everyone but Tony did a double take when Natasha entered the room. Although she was the shortest person on the team, at that moment, she felt like the tallest. Her new uniform did not have too many changes; there were simply additions to her original Black Widow outfit. The blue lights in her other uniform was taken out - her Widow’s Bite color was changed from an electric blue to a dominating red. Over her uniform, she wore a dark red leather pleated skirt. It was held in place by a belt that went across her waist. Her ankle boots were replaced with tall, black boots with two red bands above and below the knees. A blood red cape was wrapped around her neck like a scarf and flowed down her back, ending just above the backs of her knees. The “cape” was actually some curtains Tony found. Natasha didn’t object to the idea, though, so he turned the curtains into a cape for her. To top it off, she held Mjolnir in her right hand. In contrast to when she first picked it up, she carried Mjolnir like she was its rightful owner.

Natasha sauntered over to the kitchen island and picked up a blueberry muffin from a basket. She took a big bite from the top and rested her elbows on the tabletop. No one had said anything yet, since they were too busy trying to understand what was happening right now. Natasha swallowed and said, “This isn’t exactly the warm reception I was expecting.”

Helen stood up and smoothed out her shirt. “We’re just...surprised to see you like this.”

“Like this,” Natasha repeated dryly.

Helen blinked and shook her head. “I just meant, uhm… The way you fainted last night, we didn’t know when you’d be back on your feet.”

“It takes more than that to knock me down for more than twenty-four hours.” Natasha shrugged and took another bite of her muffin. “You know, I thought you guys would be a little _happier_ to see me.”

“We are happy,” Sam handed his cup to Tony and approached Natasha. He put his arm around her shoulder in an awkward side-hug. “It’s just that this whole getup is-”

“It’s not a getup,” Natasha snapped at him, then softened her voice. “I wanted to look the part, that’s all.”

“Look the part?” Steve mouthed to Thor.

“You could say I was inspired by our friendly neighborhood Asgardian,” Natasha continued and smiled at Thor.

“This must be what cultural appropriation feels like,” Thor said under his breath as he stood up and walked to the kitchen island.

“Uhm…” Sam pulled Natasha closer to him. He decided that now would not be the best time for _that_ discussion.

“You have to admit, I look pretty damn good like this,” Natasha ignored Thor’s comment and just smirked.

Thor scrunched his nose a bit and stared at Mjolnir. “May I see that?” He noticed Natasha’s hesitation, so he reassured her. “I’ll give it back, I just wish to hold it for a bit.”

Natasha held back for a few more seconds, then slide Mjolnir across the tabletop. Thor picked up the hammer and let out a quiet sigh of relief.

While Thor was inspecting Mjolnir, Bruce turned to Tony and whispered, “Why didn’t you call me when she woke up?”

“It’s not like I had the time to do that,” Tony sipped from Sam’s mug.

“What, did she threaten your life or something?”

“Not exactly...She really wanted that new uniform, and I wasn’t about to say ‘no’ to her.”

“Natasha!” Steve yelled and stood up from his seat.

He moved past Helen to catch Natasha before she fell to the ground. Sam was holding her up as she gasped and started trembling. Tony and Bruce set down their cups to join the scene. Helen directed Sam and Steve to follow her back to the lab. Thor could only stand back. He looked from Natasha’s twitching body and to Mjolnir in his hand. The gears were turning in his head, but he could not quite explain the connection. He tightened his grip on the hammer as his teammates carried Natasha out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! Or, happy Friday, if you don't celebrate Christmas. Anyway, your gift from me to you is an update! This chapter is longer than the last one, so I hope you all enjoy!


	4. The Side Effects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While taking care of Natasha, Steve and Sam make some connections.

That night, Natasha tossed and turned in her bed. Since fainting in the kitchen that same morning, she had been in the medical wing. Bruce gave her some medication what would help her stay awake, while tony and Helen went over the previous tests and data. Eventually, Natasha claimed she was feeling better and requested to stay in her bedroom. She was getting sick of lying in hospital beds (no pun intended).

Steve and Sam insisted that they spend the night with her, in case she fainted again. Natasha lied between them while they sat up to watch over her. She was practically drenched in sweat, yet she could not seem to stop shivering.

Sam used a tissue to dab her forehead. “Has she had a reaction like this before?” he quietly asked Steve.

Steve shook his head. “Not that I know of. This is… I have no idea what this is. And apparently, those _geniuses_ don’t know either.” He spat out the word to make it sound like an insult.

“They’re trying their best,” Sam came to the defense of Bruce, Helen, and Tony. He was as concerned as Steve was angry.

“They need to do better…” Steve grumbled.

“I second that,” Natasha’s croaking voice interjected. Steve wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. She whimpered and curled into him.

“I hate this,” she spoke again. “This... weakness. Helpless… Hopeless…”

“Hey, hey, don’t say that,” Sam rubbed her back. “Nobody’s invincible. Whatever’s going on with you will be fixed soon.” Sam’s optimism was usually amusing and adorable, but in that moment, it only made Natasha feel worse.

After some moments of silence, Steve noticed that Natasha’s shaking got worse. He tilted her chin up to see her face, only for her to reveal that she had been crying.

Steve pursed his lips,then looked to Sam. “Is there anything _we_ can do? Like, right now?”

It was now Sam’s turn to hold Natasha. She rolled over to her other side to shift closer to him. “I have a theory,” he said. “She was fine this morning right? And out of nowhere, she faints. Well… she didn’t drop down until Thor took the hammer from her.”

Steve nodded slowly. He had noticed this, too, but did not make the connection. “Thor wouldn’t do this on purpose, would he? Making Nat like this?”

“I don’t think Thor had anything to do with it. It could just be the hammer.”

“Myul-ner? On its own?”

Sam shrugged one shoulder, not quite believing his own idea. “Look, man, I don’t know how that magic stuff works. All I know is that when Nat was holding that thing, she was perfectly fine. Then it leaves her hand and...” he trailed off as he glanced down at Natasha squeezing her eyes shut. She looked paler than usual.

Suddenly, Natasha sat up and bolted from the bed. She ran to the small trashcan by the door and began dry-heaving into it. Sam got out of bed and rushed over to her. He knelt down beside her and rubbed her back. Meanwhile, Steve was still thinking about what Sam had said earlier. Could Natasha’s current condition be linked to Mjolnir? There was only one way to find out.

Steve hopped out of bed and walked to the door. Before he left, he turned to Sam. “I’ll be right back. Keep an eye on her.”

“Nah, I’ll just leave her to rot on the floor.” Sam replied to the obvious orders. “Going to talk to Thor?”

“Vision,” Steve corrected. “He might be easier to convince.”

Steve had one foot out the door when Sam asked, “Convince him of what?”

“Just...stay with Nat while I’m gone. If she gets any worse, take her back to the lab.”

“Not the lab…” Natasha lifted her head. Sam held her hair back as she gagged again.

********

“Are you sure?” Vision asked after he heard Steve’s theory. The two were standing in the hallway in front of Vision’s designated bedroom in the Tower.

“Not exactly,” Steve responded with a sigh. “But it’s the only explanation that makes sense.”

Vision went quiet as he thought it over. He considered Thor one of his closest friends, so he knew how important Mjolnir was to the demigod. Sure, there were times Thor and Vision would toss the hammer back and forth for fun, but Vision had never taken Mjolnir without Thor’s permission.

“Why not ask Thor yourself?” Vision asked.

“Didn’t you notice how he was this morning?”

“I noticed how Miss Romanoff was acting.”

Steve slacked his jaw and breathed through his nose. He didn’t know if Vision was being straightforward or just plain snarky. Tony was one of his creators, after all.

“How do you know Mjolnir will not have a negative effect on her?”

“I...don’t know that,” Steve admitted. He paused, then sighed again. “But I’m pretty sure - I _know_ Myul-ner is what Natasha needs right now. If I ask Thor, he’s going to be all confrontational, and I don’t have time for that. _Natasha_ doesn’t have time for that.”

Vision clasped his hands together behind his back. He was weighing the pros and cons in his head, and while he did that, his bedroom door creaked open. Wanda poked her head out and saw Steve raised an eyebrow at her.

“Oh! I thought that was you out there,” Wanda smiled as if she wasn’t embarrassed by Steve seeing her in Vision’s bedroom. She opened the door a little more to show that she was, in fact, dressed, so that Steve didn’t assume anything.

“Hope I didn’t wake you,” was all Steve said to her before he directed his attention to Vision again. “Vision?”

“At least let her have it tonight,” Wanda tried to help. No use in pretend that she hadn’t been eavesdropping for the past five minutes.

Vision closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them again, he gave a short nod. “Lucky for you, Steven, I know where Thor left Mjolnir. I will retrieve it for you and give it to Miss Romanoff.”

Steve ran his hands through his hair and allowed himself to smile. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” He started down the hallway to get back to Natasha’s room, but he stopped and pointed to Wanda. “Make sure he actually brings the hammer.”

Vision looked rather insulted and placed his hands on his hips. Wanda was smirking behind him.

“Not that I don’t trust you, but…y’know...” Steve saluted Vision and Wanda, then turned and continued down the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been about a month since I last updated, and I apologize for that! Ever since school started back up, I've been busy and haven't had a lot of time for writing. So this fic will continued to be updated, but not as frequently as it did starting out.


	5. The Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is not acting like herself, to say the least.

There was an entire floor in the Avengers Tower that was dedicated to various training rooms and gyms. Each room was connected either through side doors or through the main hallway. These rooms were inspired by SHIELD’s training rooms and equipment.

The morning after what was being dubbed “The Kitchen Incident,” Natasha was quite energetic as she spun around the main gym, swinging Mjolnir at 6-ft-tall dummies. She still utilized a few of her signature skills - like the leg swipe, or the thigh grab - but at that time, he mostly used Mjolnir to take down the fake enemies. Clint and Rhodey watched her from the sidelines, every so often supplying her with a new batch of dummies.

Nick Fury entered the large room with Thor walking beside him. “You should’ve called me sooner.”

“We were trying to figure this mess out,” Thor replied lamely.

“Doesn’t look like a mess to me.” Nick said as he watched Natasha. He focused less on her movements and more on her expressions. She was focused, but smiling. It was that type of cocky grin Fury only saw on Tony. Or Thor.

Unlike Nick, Thor only noticed how she was using his Mjolnir. “She doesn’t even know how to properly swing it.” This was met with silence, so he tried again. “She is just-- flopping her arm around.”

“Why don’t you help her if it bothers you so much?” Nick slid his hands in the pockets of his long coat. Even at room temperature, he wore his long, black, leather jacket. Many of the Avengers wondered if he did this just to look like even more of a badass.

“I doubt she would want my assistance.”

Nick noted the hint of sadness in Thor’s tone and shook his head. Before he could respond, the head of a dummy was flying straight at them. Nick and Thor dove out of the way as the head bounced along the ground behind them.

“Sorry!” Natasha called out to them. She walked a few steps toward them, then paused. Her grip on the hammer moved from its handle to the strap that was loosely around her wrist. She spun Mjolnir in vertical circles as she had seen Thor do many times before. At the last second, she stopped spinning the hammer and pointed it between Nick and Fury. This launched her into the air in that direction, and if Thor hadn’t jumped up and caught her, she would have gone right through a wall.

Thor leapt up and caught Natasha mid-air, and they both went gliding a couple feet before he landed on his back with a loud thump. Natasha’s right arm was still outstretched. She lifted her face from Thor’s chest and met his light blue eyes.

“Okay...Double sorry.” She huffed and rolled off of him.

Nick strolled over to the pair and helped Natasha up. “So this is what you’ve been up to lately. Last I heard, you were having seizures and cold sweats.”

Natasha waved her free hand to dismiss the remark. “I was fine. You know how the guys like to exaggerate.”

“They didn’t sound like they were exaggerating.” Nick rolled his shoulders back and examined her face again. “If there’s something you’re not telling me…”

“I’m fine, Nick. Really.” Her smile was strained, but not as it normally was. In this case, it was like she couldn’t stop smiling, but tried to remain neutral for Nick’s sake.

Nick’s gaze switched to Thor behind her, who was sitting there on the ground. He wasn’t listening in on their conversation; he was simply lost in thought. Unfortunately for Thor, Natasha noticed where Nick’s attention had gone.

She whipped her head around and snapped at Thor, “Didn’t anyone tell you that eavesdropping is rude?”

Thor blinked and came back to reality. Her fiery stare made him scramble to stand up. He was about to leave, but Nick held his hand out, signaling to stay put. What followed was something that could only be described as odd:

When Natasha faced Nick once more, her mouth twisted to the side, and she tucked a nonexistent strand of hair behind her ear.

Nick looked her up and down.

She scoffed, scrunching her nose a little.

He smiled and nodded to himself.

Nick and Natasha could hold entire conversations with each other without saying a word. It was rather impressive.

Natasha cocked her hip and pressed her lips into a thin line.

Nick folded his arms across his chest, his face now expressionless.

A cheeky raise of her brow made him inhale sharply.

Natasha smirked and even let out a chuckle before tapping Nick’s shoulder with the head of Mjolnir. She walked away, her hips swaying with each step.

“Set me up for a round two, fellas,” she called out to Clint and Rhodey across the room. She looked over her shoulder. She smiled once more at Fury, but seemed to glare at Thor. She returned to her earlier task, jogging to the collection of dummies.

Thor slowly approached Nick, appearing as confused as when he first heard Tony’s horrible dialect when speaking Norwegian. He could only see Fury’s face when he watched the muted exchange between the two spies. And he did _not_ like what he saw.

“Should I even bother asking what that was?”

“Is anyone else keeping an eye on her?” Nick raised a different question.

“Banner, Cho, and Stark… They say they are running test after test to find an explanation for... _that_.”

 _That_ was Natasha leaping into the air and smashing Mjolnir to the ground, sending a wave that knocked down all the dummies. Rhodey and Clint held onto each other as they tumbled down as well.

Nick sighed quietly. “Guess I should be talking to the geniuses.”

Nick hid it well, but Thor had a feeling that he was deeply concerned for his agent. Sure, Thor didn’t know the extent of their relationship - No one really did, for that matter. They had a deep, mutual respect for each other, and that was as much as the others knew. Besides Clint, Nick knew Natasha better than anyone. If he was worried about her, that must mean something was seriously wrong.

*****

That day in the gym was only one of the first instances of Natasha acting unusual. Over the course of a week, she would do certain things that were not at all what others expected of her.

Steve and Sam went out for an early jog one morning. As they ran side by side, Sam noticed something from the corner of his eye. He turned his head to see Natasha leaping from rooftop to rooftop, her jumps getting higher each time. Sam tried to nudge Steve to get his attention, but Steve was already a block ahead, trying to lap him.

Another day, Wanda walked past Natasha’s bedroom when she paused and peaked into the half-open door. Natasha was sat in the middle of the floor with her outstretched arm holding Mjolnir. She released her grip and froze, waiting for something. Thirty seconds later, just as she looked like she was about to pass out, Mjolnir flew back into her grip. A quiet laugh escaped her lips. Wanda narrowed her eyes and decided to take a closer look into the situation. Just as the young woman was about to see into Natasha’s mind, Natasha’s eyes shot up and locked with Wanda’s. Wanda gasped and quickly continued on her way down the halls.

The most concerning instance was this. Later that week, Natasha rushed all throughout the Tower, insisting that someone sparred with her. No one wanted to be around her at that time, so they kept making excuses. She caught Bruce in one of the kitchens and tried to convince him to, in her words, “Let the Big Guy out for a bit. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a little rough-housing.” Obviously, Bruce was surprised - and quite insulted - by this. He politely turned her down, but she held his arm to make him stay. Her grip was firm, strong enough that he was convinced it would leave bruises. Bruce tugged his arm, but her grip only got tighter. He struggled further when he heard her desperately whisper “Please.” He was eventually able to get away once he fake-promised to transform if she would let go. Natasha obliged, and as soon as Bruce was free, he fled the room as fast as a man of his age could run. Natasha considered going after him, but she stood there instead. A shudder ran through her body. She shook out the hand she used to grab Bruce, then rubbed it on her jeans.

Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath. Inhale, exhale. With a twitch of her head, she opened her eyes and forced a reserved smile. She exited the kitchen with her shoulders back and her head held high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, this fic is still being updated! Sorry for the long wait! Truth is, I have this whole fic outlined, but I haven't had time to write it all out. I'm doing what I can between my other irl duties, so thanks for sticking around. Chapter 6 is on its way!


	6. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is finally told just what the heck is happening to her, but she doesn't take this news very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guess what fic is still alive? I know it's been a long time since I last updated. Life has gotten a bit hectic this second semester of school, but I only have a little over a month left. Updates will still be a little slow, but hey, I'm not giving up on this story! Things are just starting to heat up!

Another week would pass before Natasha would work up the courage to officially apologize to Bruce. She roamed the various floors of the Tower, searching from lab to lab, when she finally found him in the shared lab space that overlooked the party room. Tony and Helen were in the lab as well. These two and Bruce have been spending a lot of time together ever since Natasha’s first encounter with Mjolnir weeks earlier. They were rarely seen outside of a lab, and when they were, they would make a quick stop to a kitchen to grab some snacks. That is, when they remembered to eat. The three have been hard at work for about two weeks now and only had a combined  20 hours of sleep.

“Hard at work or hardly working?” Natasha joked and she stepped into the lab. She noted how Helen moved to the other side of the lab to stand near Bruce. “I come in peace.”

“If what Bruce told us is true, I highly doubt that,” Tony remarked, stepping to Bruce’s side as well.

Bruce separated himself from his lab mates to approach Natasha. He kept a safe amount of distance between them. Natasha shifted uncomfortably and said, “I came here to apologize… for what happened the other day.” She wished she could do this without Tony and Helen listening in.

“I accept your apology…” Bruce watched as Natasha twisted Mjolnir in her hands. “...if you put the hammer down.”

“Wait, what?” Natasha knit her brows together.

“Your ‘sorry’ doesn't mean anything to me while you're holding that.”

Shifting his eyes away from Mjolnir, Bruce almost could not believe what he saw when his eyes locked with hers. The green eyes had a gentleness to them that Bruce had not seen in a long time. He moved closer to her. Both relief and worry washed over him when she did not step back.

“Natasha…”

“I can't,” she whispered. She lowered her head so only Bruce could hear her. “If you felt what I feel when I'm holding this thing, you would know why I can't put it down. You don't understand the… the _power_ it gives me.”

Tony and Helen exchanged a look. Neither of them were good at lip reading like Clint. Helen decided to turn her attention back to the holo-screen in her hand, which displayed a silhouetted image of Natasha’s body. Red marks appeared on some places in the body -  like the arms and legs - and a dark purple in other parts, namely the forehead and over the heart. Meanwhile, Tony was still attempting to eavesdrop on Bruce and Natasha’s conversation.

The lines around Bruce’s mouth deepened when he frowned. “Maybe I can't directly relate, but I understand more than you'd think.” He continued when Natasha scoffed. “I fight everyday to prevent the Hulk from taking over. It would be so easy to just… to just give in to that power.”

“So why don't you?” It was a genuine question this time, vastly different from when she was practically begging for a fight. “Why don't you submit to it, if it would be easier?”

Bruce was bewildered by how expressive her face was. Everyone was used to seeing her poker face. Perhaps Mjolnir was making her emotions harder to conceal - the opposite of Hulk’s effect on Bruce. He made a mental note of this to write it down later.

“If I do, a lot of people will get hurt. I couldn't live with myself I let that happened.”

“It already happens, though, right?”

“I hold back as much as I can,” he replied quickly. He crossed his arms and turned the conversation back to being about her. “I want to help you, Natasha. We all do. Helen, Steve, Sam… even Tony. We all care about you. But we can't do that if you don't tell us what's going on with you.”

Natasha’s lip trembled. She opened her mouth to speak, and Bruce thought he finally got her.

But as it turned out, he was wrong, for Thor came into the lab, looking quite annoyed. “Natasha!”

The sound of her name coming from the demigod gave her goosebumps. Any traces of a remorseful and scared person was soon washed away with Thor’s presence. Keeping her back to him, she said, “I'm in the middle of something.”

“You can continue talking. I come only for -” He approached Natasha and reached for the hammer, but she jerked her hand away. Bruce jumped back so he wouldn't get hit in the process.

Thor balled his hands into fists and maintained steady breaths. “I have been patient with you. I’ve allowed you to keep Mjolnir because of your current condition.”

“My current condition?” Natasha hummed and did a slow turn to face him. “Thank you for your pity, but I never asked for it.”

“I fear you have changed for the worst,” Thor noted. “Have you not noticed this as well?”

“I’ve noticed you’re acting like a child. Jealousy is not a good look for you, Thor.” She paused to make a show out of looking him up and down. “Actually, you still look perfect. Dammit…”

“I’ve gotta agree with the big guy,” Tony chimed in, despite Helen and Bruce’s efforts to shut him up. “Nat, I think Myuhl-neer is taking a toll on you.” He held up the holo-screen Helen was looking at earlier.

He took one step to show Natasha, but the glare she gave him sent a shiver down his spine. “Nobody asked you, Stark! Stay out of this!”

“Just look before you get bent out of shape!”

Tony insisted, but Natasha had heard enough. She was sick of everyone ganging up on her recently. Especially the three scientists in the room. So what if she wanted to have fun? They were just jealous because she could wield Mjolnir and they couldn’t. As for Thor, he didn’t even _need_ Mjolnir - he already has his Asgardian strength. Natasha was worthy of Mjolnir, and that was all that mattered to her.

Natasha pointed the hammer at Helen. “Show me the screen. Now.”

Helen gulped and took the screen from Tony’s hands. Helen wasn’t an idiot - she knew Natasha would break the screen the moment it was within reach. So Helen took her time going to Natasha as she explained the data. “As you’ve probably discovered by now, your physical state has become reliant on your contact with Mjolnir. Your body shuts down from the inside out without it. But the more you hold onto that thing, the more it manipulates your mental and physical capabilities. This is not as good of a thing as you’d think.”

Natasha kept the hammer directed at Helen, her face contorting oddly with rage. “It’s making me stronger, I already know this! Two weeks of poking me with needles and hooking me up to machines and that’s all you geniuses come up with?”

“You are _dying_ , Natasha. With or without Mjolnir.” Helen kept her gaze on the frightening woman in front of her so as not to alert her of Thor’s attempt to snatch Mjolnir. She continued. “What’s left now is to find a cure so we can get you back to surviving without Mjolnir.”

“That’s ENOUGH!” Sparks of lightning emerged from Mjolnir’s handle and rippled along Natasha’s hand.

Tony whispered “Cho…” at the same time Bruce called out “Helen!”

Helen was now in front of Natasha’s outstretched arm, staring her down and ignoring Mjolnir inches from her face. The ripples of lightning traveled to squared head of the hammer. Helen was able to steady her trembling hands to shove the holo-screen in Natasha’s face. “Look! This isn’t like you, and you know it! Let us help you, Natasha! Let us help you get back to your normal state!”

“I don’t want to be normal!” The entirety of Natasha’s eyes turned a blinding blue-white. “ _I want to be a_ **_god_ ** _!_ ”

Thor grabbed Natasha’s hand and pulled her arm upward seconds before a lightning blast could hit Helen. Instead, the blast was aimed at the ceiling and destroyed some of the fluorescent lights. Helen ducked and the Science Bros dove to hide under a desk as sparks rained down from the ceiling. Thor wrapped a muscled arm around Natasha to pin her other arm against her.

“You cannot handle Mjolnir’s power!” Thor shouted in her ear. But what she heard was, _You are not worthy of this power._

Natasha whipped her head back but was only able to hit Thor’s chin.  Since this was not effective, she stomped on the instep of his foot. She was satisfied to hear him groan, but his hold on her was still tight. She went with her last-ditched effort and let Mjolnir slip from her grasp. It bonked Thor on his head and fell to the ground, causing a ripple throughout the lab. Helen was thrown backward but luckily only crashed into a chair. Tony and Bruce flew back with the desk that did a poor job protecting them.

While Thor rubbed the growing bump on the top of his head, Natasha was able to slip from his grasp. Thor realized this and bent over to grab her again, but she slid between his legs and picked up Mjolnir again. She stood up and delivered a high kick to his stomach. This sent him flying back and he landed hard on the floor, a few feet from Helen. He was on his feet seconds later and helped Helen up. Thor motioned for Helen to stand behind him, but the geneticist held onto his arm and stood at his side.

“Hey!” Natasha’s voice boomed throughout the space. She demanded attention but only addressed Thor. “You want the hammer back? Come and get it.”

She spun Mjolnir in vertical circles until she gained enough momentum. She turned her back to the others and flew through the glass windows of the lab, and then through a second set of windows of the tower itself.

Helen surveyed the condition of the lab and looked at her friends. Bruce was on his knees, holding his head as he tried to calm the Hulk down. Tony rolled onto his back and struggled to regain his breath. “We need to get the others,” she said as she desperately cast her gaze up to Thor. “Assemble the team!”

“No…” Thor replied. “We can’t get anyone else involved. This is between me and Natasha.”

He breathed out a heavy sigh and marched to the shattered windows. “That is how she wants it, and that is how it must be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, did you catch on to how Natasha, Thor, Vision, and Helen are the only ones to pronounce "Mjolnir" correctly?


End file.
